How To Improve Your Communication Skills?

A good communicator is majorly considered as a person who can express their views well in front of other people, but it is not only expressing that matters in communication. Communication by definition means the exchange of information through various mediums. These mediums can be vocal, visual, kinesthetic or written or any other possible way, but what is important here is that it has to be a medium of exchange.

Imagine a situation where both the parties are extremely good at expression and both of them are talking well and expressing very well but none of them is listening. Leave alone good communication there will be no communication at all. The meaning of communication is its effect. It's not how well you express but how well you can make the other person understand. Communication does not start with talking it starts with listening.

Communication begins with the moment when you come in the presence of a person. Much before the first word is said a lot has already been communicated between two people through the non-verbal.  It may interest you to know that only 7% of our communication comprises of words and the rest of it is all non-verbal. From the time you enter a space, you start communication through your body language, posture, expression, and vibration.

To have effective communication one must master the skills of listening too and not just work upon the skills of talking or expressing. And listening is not just listening to the words, one needs to be attentive to the body language too.

Major issues in the relationships arise not because one is not able to express but because one is not able to understand. Most couples start out arguing about one thing and within five minutes they forget what they were arguing about and start arguing about the way they are arguing. The most important reason behind this is lack of effective communication. We tend to listen to give a reply and not to understand what the other person is trying to say. 

5 ways to improve your verbal communication skills?

1. Before speaking it out loud rehearse it in your head. When you are in the middle of an argument you may say words that you don't even mean but that's where anger takes you. You try to apologize later but the train has already left the station and now its too late. We have all been there. So one habit that a person can inculcate is to rehearse it in their mind before speaking it out loud. This may help you to filter down things that you would not otherwise say. This is one of the most effective ways to improve your communication and avoid differences in relationships.

2. We have got 2 ears and one mouth. Almighty has made the organs in our body proportionate to its use. So try using them appropriately by listening more and talking less. This would impact your relationship in not one but two ways. One that the other person would admire that you are attentively listening and trying to understand them and the other that you will actually understand and learn better when you listen more.

3. Listen not only to words but also to the non-verbal cues. Any emotion that a person is going through may be well understood by there body language if one pays enough attention. Observation and attention is the key here. These are skills you would not develop overnight. It would take time but working on it will lead you to have stronger and better relations. MOVE offers a range of workshops to help you improve your communication skills.

4. Everyone has a unique perception of the world. You may or may not agree with it but its their view through their lenses. Respect the other person's viewpoint. Express your views without denying theirs. This is one of the major reasons for fights in a relationship. We instead of validating a person's feelings blame them on how they can feel that way. It is their feeling and their view, validate their feelings and work on how you can help them with it.

5. The effectiveness of your communication is not stated by how well you express but how well the other person understands. Talk to the person in their language to make them understand what you want to express. I am not talking about the literal language barrier here but the way of expression, the usage of examples, elimination of jargon and simplifying of your words.

We are always taught in school about how we should talk, what to say and what not to say but we are never given lessons on how to listen. Learning how to listen and understand is more important than learning how to talk.

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  1. I agree, good listening skill is very important! And notice the nuances of expressions :)


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