The stones we carry - 3 Obstacles to Success |Divya Toshniwal |

Lakshya was a man of 28 years. For the past 5 years, he had been trying to work hard on setting up a business and had failed miserably in all 3 of his attempts. He knew he had the talent, he knew he had the ideas but he always felt that there is something that is missing. He always felt a crucial element of success has been missing from all these attempts. He was beginning to feel really depressed about this whole scenario and now had started losing hope of anything good happening to him.

On the suggestion of a friend, Lakshya decided to visit a counselor cum life coach. Initially, He was very hesitant in sharing his thoughts and talking his heart out. After a few sessions however Lakshya started to speak what he truly felt and on the 9th session he asked the counselor,

“What is it that is stopping me to achieve what I want to? How can I unleash my true potential?”

His coach replied “I will give you the answer at the right time. But before that, we will go on a trek together.

Lakshya though confused agreed to it because overtime he had developed that trust on his coach.

After 3 days from now, their trek was to begin. Lakshya went home, prepared his body and mind for the trek. He would travel light of course thus he kept only the things which were a necessity for the trek.

When he met his coach at the starting point of the trek he was shocked to see his coach carrying a large extra bag with him. Lakshya asked “How are you going to carry this bag for such a long journey?”

The coach smiled with a wink, “You are going to carry this bag my dear, not me. And when we reach our destination I will tell you why.”

Lakshya was shocked and did not know how to respond. He knew it was impossible for him to travel with this bag. The bag was really heavy so he opened the bag to see its contents. There were 3 large stones in the bag.
After a day’s travel, they reached the next base. Lakshya was extremely tired but also relaxed because the next base was here. Now was the time to rest and he could keep the bag down. Even after keeping the bag down the pain lingered and did not allow him to sleep properly.
The next morning when they were ready to continue on their journey Lakshya looked at the heavy bag for a few minutes. He did not want to carry a bag full of stones that had no use to him but he still picked up the bag again. He kept the bag down faster than he had picked it up and said that he can’t carry this much weight. He said he wanted to leave the idea of this trek and wanted to back home. Coach then suggested, “Let us remove one of the stones from the bag and then move forward. Will that become easier?”

Lakshya happily agreed to the idea and threw away the biggest and the heaviest stone in the bag.  They then started their journey towards the next base. The same thing happened the next day. Lakshya wanted to give up the trek the coach helped him stay on track by making him remove another stone.  On the final day when they were to reach their destination, Lakshya had started becoming hyper about this whole stone business. If they did not need the stones on the destination, then why was he made to carry it all the way from the base camp. Only one stone was now left in the bag. Their climb became steeper and it was tough for them to balance even their own bodies let alone carry the baggage. At this point in time Lakshya gave up in frustration. He said to the coach that if he had to reach the destination he will have to throw the stone away. With this weight on his back, he would not be able to climb the mountain.

The coach smiled and told him to throw the last stone away. Confused though as he picked up the stone he saw a letter beneath it addressed to him. He kept the stone down. And looked at his coach who instructed him to read the letter and left him alone.

Dear Lakshya,

If you have reached this letter that means you now know how relaxed your body is feeling after throwing away all the stones. Remember this feeling and keep it in your body and mind forever.

I understand you are super confused about why we did this task and now is the time to answer your question. What is stopping you? Why are you not being able to reach your destination? Why are you not being able to unleash your true potential?

It is because of the stones that you have been carrying. These stones are the reason why you cannot reach your destination. By stones I am not referring to the objects that you have been carrying on this trip but the thoughts that you have been carrying all along your life.

First Stone: What will people say? (Sabse bada rog, Kya kahenge log?)

You have been following the crowd blindly and though you have immense innovative ideas you never take action on them just because that idea is not mainstream. You step back from the idea just because people would say it is not right. But always remember this. Just because a million people are doing it does not make it right and just because no one did it does not make it wrong. So stop thinking about what others would say and start listening to what your heart is saying. Pleasing everybody is not your duty. So , remove this burden from your shoulders and stand tall. Live for yourself first. Don’t try to always fit in because people are going to criticize anyway. We need to do a better job putting ourselves higher on our to-do list. Your heart knows the way so run in that direction.

Second Stone: I have to do better than everybody 

Competing with others will not make you win your battles. If you really want to compete then compete with yourself. I would quote here Mathew McConaughey. He in his speech once said When I was 15 years old I had a very important person in my life come and ask me 'Who's your hero?' I said, 'I thought about it and it's me in ten years. So I turned 25 ten years later and that same person comes to me and goes, 'Are you a hero?' I said, 'Not even close!' She said why and I said, 'My hero is me at 35.' You see, every day, and every week, and every month, and every year of my life, my hero is always ten years away. I'm never going to be my hero. I'm not going to obtain that and that's fine with me because it keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.

Third Stone: Negative Belief System

I would not speak on whether god exists or not but we all agree that there is supreme energy that is responsible for the formation of his world. We also agree on the fact that this energy made us and some part of this energy exists within us. If the energy that has the capability to build the whole universe exists within us, why can’t we just build our lives the way we desire. The obstacle is just one – Our negative belief system. Consider the following :

self belief system

If we believe that we will not be able to do something, our actions would be impacted by this belief and we will not give our 100% into the job as we have already declared that we will not be able to. As a result, the work is not done or is not at its best. This action is what is seen by the world around and they form their beliefs about you based on this action. Thus your negative belief in yourself results in others thinking negative about you and thus their behavior towards you becomes negative. When you see people’s behavior being such it reinforces the belief you had initially that you cannot do it. This becomes a vicious cycle and the only way to break it is an intervention to change our belief system.
Only when you throw these stones out of your life, you will be able to reach your destination and unleash your true potential. Your body now has the memory of your pain and also that of the relaxation. Whenever now you feel the pain you would know you have a choice to throw the stone away. The earlier you throw them the closer you will get to your goals.

Lakshya folded the letter and kept it in his pocket. He took a deep breath and picked up the stone that he had kept down. This time he threw the stone with all his energy as far as he could. This was the most difficult to throw and the most important to. While he threw the stone he shouted on top of his voice, 


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