How To Stay Happy Everyday | Divya Toshniwal |

This story is around half a decade old. It was my parent's 25th anniversary. I was doing post-graduation and my exams clashed with the date of their anniversary. So though I wasn't with them on that day, a party was planned for the day when I went back after my exams. The party was going to be quite big with more than 300 guests. So, before my exams had started, I was supposed to buy myself a dress for the same. I went shopping and liked around 3 dresses. I clicked a pic of all and sent it to my mom. Obviously, she did not like any of those and said it isn't fit for a 'family function'. But I was always a rebel and I bought the one I liked the most. My mom wasn't happy about it but she didn't say much.

Around 3 days later, I realized Karma is a bitch. So a similar story took place where I did not like someone doing something but they went ahead and did it anyhow. The way it made me feel was really very very bad. I was quite upset but couldn't do anything to change that situation. The fight with mom popped up in my head. I realized how bad she must have felt when I did not respect her plans for her 25th-anniversary celebration. I called her up and said " Mom, I am not wearing the dress I bought. You buy a dress for me and I will wear whatever you choose for me."

She hadn't expected anything like this from me, in fact, I hadn't expected anything like this from me. She was so ecstatic about my statement that she was ready to go shopping the immediate next day. She said she will send me options to choose from and I said "No need, whatever you like I will wear that, no questions asked". I think it was this statement that came as a real surprise for her and that made her really happy. Just one little thing had made her happy- that I had respected her opinion above my own desire and my simple gesture had left a beautiful smile on her face.

After keeping the phone down I realized that I was feeling happy too. The thought that was upsetting me earlier had vanished in my mother's happiness. And this was the day that I realized - 'Happiness is giving'. And let me tell you honestly, the dress she chose for me was much better than what I had bought for myself.

Evolution has wired us to help each other. Our bodies are structured in such a way that when we give to others or help others it helps release the happiness hormones like oxytocin and reduces the cortisols( stress hormones). So when we give we naturally feel happier. Researchers have also termed this phenomenon as 'Helper's High'. They have defined helper's high as an uplifting feeling that you experience when you do something for someone else.

I recently came across a concept about giving every day and how it can change your life. I do not remember exactly where I heard it but a mom with a 3-year-old started a family project of giving back to the community and the environment every day for 365 days. So she says being happy is so simple that even a 3-year-old can do it.

I have heard stories about my grandfather's generosity and seen my parents always keen on giving back to society, since childhood. Even when we did not have much My grandma, mom and aunt would take money out of their share and would help people in need. I have never seen them cribbing about having less. They were happier than many who have everything in life. So I have understood the importance of giving since forever. This concept though came as a new angle and explained to me that giving can make you happy every day. It may not necessarily be something big. It can be donating old clothes to a charity, planting a tree, giving someone food, spreading smiles, a little act of kindness, buy from someone needy, volunteer for some community work, or keeping water for birds in summer. Probably this was the reason why our ancestors set aside the first chapati for a cow and the last one for a dog. That was just a way of giving back.

In the middle of the world crisis I found my happiness by giving little things to someone in need. Whether it was a little extra support to the househelp or giving milk to the street dogs who had very less to eat, I found my happiness. I found new ways of giving that I hadn't explored earlier. I took out one fist full of grains everyday and accumulated it for a month and then give it to someone needy who wasn't even related to me. Taking that one fist full of grain gave me happiness. The milk I gave to the street dog gave me happiness( and let me tell you I am quite scared of dogs , so it isn't that I am a dog lover). Paying the rickshaw walas some extra money than the ususal rates gave me happiness(the smiles on their face was so bright even when we just gave Rs.10 extra). Giving away some used clothes, blankets, and just simple household things that we were not using anymore made someone's day brighter.

So being happy is so simple that even a 3-year-old can do it. Learning this value at an early age can result in happy and emotionally strong individuals who would be keen on helping the world and together we can build a better planet to live on.

Divya